angsty check-in

So I'm in another one of my ruts where I've lost the will to make art/crafts everyday.  ;_____;  And I can't really blame being busy and away for holidays, anime conventions, numerous family events, or my week away, cat-sitting, because I could totally do figure photography or upload photos of drawings, while I'm away from my scanner.  But I've just so lost the will to do anything.

 It'd be easy to say this laziness is connected to the depressing lack of direction in my life or how I'm once again seriously doubting making art a career.  I mean, I've failed miserably as a business owner.  So much of it is self-promotion, and I just don't have the self-esteem for that (not to mention my social anxiety disorder).  There are so many times I could be networking with my business cards, signing up for conventions, or researching fairs to sell at---Or even just preparing more products to sell at whatever event I run into in the future.  But I really don't know what I'm doing with my life.  ;__________;  I could do so many arts/crafts/digital/writing, but I feel like my skills are only good enough for myself.  Once I consider doing anything professionally, I feel like I could never do anything well enough to be paid for it.  I'm so sure I'll disappoint any/everyone and myself, no matter what I'm doing or will do.  Again, I'm not Living, but just waiting to die.  ;_____;

 Well, enough of that angst. 

 This journal entry is in my art blog because I suddenly feel the urge to start a new project.  I certainly feel more inclined to make clay miniatures, figurines, and jewelry lately, but lately, I haven't really been home at my workspace.  The things I can bring with me are drawing sketchbooks and figure photography.  I've even been thinking of returning to watercolors.  I've felt inspired by webcomics to start a new blog for a daily comic.  Though there are so many things I could be doing, I should at least start up my daily Deviant Art uploads again.  Even if I start a new blog of an artwork a day, that would just be exactly what my Deviant Art already is.  In any case, I feel like I want to start producing some new art (again). 

I haven't been doing much more than figure photography lately, but even so, I've been skipping most of the weekly challenges from Google+'s Figure Photography community.  ;_;  Maybe I should at least get back onto that, before I start dreaming of drawing again, let alone, drawing a new, long-running project for a new blog.