tigers, cubs, despair, and driving myself nutz

how I imagine tiger cubs in my head (without sketching photos)

http://fav.me/d63o91p

 

I'm really struggling to draw tigers.  ;_; Right now, I'm trying to figure out the difference between tiger cubs and adult tigers.  I just can't quite figure it out. 

 

And even more, I can't figure out why I can't get myself to sit down and sketch directly from photo sources.  ~____~;;;  ...Well, actually, I did try, but those look even worse than when I try to draw from my head (like the colored doodles above).

How can sketching from a source photo make things worse?!

I've been playing YouTube videos of tiger cubs, in a loop, this entire time (maybe 2 hours or more)---and that's not counting when I was doing the same all yesterday and the previous days before. 

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbGXNMLue5g0xQp9znSqwvR6VWFN2rUZn

 

 

Still, I just don't feel good enough to be drawing what I want:  Yuki-tiger and Masa-dragon.  Ultimately, I want to do a fan-comic about them.  But right now, I'm in the middle of a half-finished drawing, and I just feel stuck. 

Just knowing I have to draw Takeda-tiger and Yuki-cub beside each other, puts more pressure to make sure I draw the differences between a cub and an adult tiger.  And there isn't any running away from this; I _want_ to be able to draw this.  Still, I feel so hopeless. 

It just reminds me of how much I feel like a fake, when I'm backed into describing myself as an "artist".  Sometimes you get into conversations about careers or what you aspire to do, like when your tax preparer has to fill out your occupation or your family constantly pesters you about what you're doing right now.  And how else do I describe myself when I have a business permit for selling art/crafts and participating at artist alleys really is my only income?  I've got no other option than to reply that I am trying to be an "artist".  But I don't really feel like a real artist. ;_____;  But if I'm not, then what?  This is the closest clue I have to what to do with my life that will make me happy.  So if I'm a sham at that, then I'm really lost.  ;_________; 

 

So, I watched this playlist to feel better:

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL264DE8C31D4D013A

 

And it worked!  ^-^  Bukroot's video felt like things I had already heard before, yet somehow, hearing her say it---maybe it was her tone, her examples, or just the right moment I needed to hear this vid---really was able to affect me now.  Peter Deligdisch's doodle video, though just a walkthrough of him as he doodled, really gave this sense that something great could be made, if you just relax. 

relaxed doodling

 

without photo sources

And that really seemed to be the case, as I returned to my tiger warm-up drawings.  The tigers that I sketched from photo sources, just didn't seem right.  The ones I did from my head, while relaxing, felt better.  Which is strange, because usually, I draw better _with_ sources than from my head.  Odd.  I must be in flux. 

 

So maybe, tomorrow will be a better drawing day for me.  Maybe I'll get that Masa-hatchling and Yuki-cub drawing done.  (And maybe I'll be closer to getting on with my Masa-dragon/Yuki-tiger fan-comic without being so afraid of messing it up.)  Strangely, I had returned to pencil with this drawing, for the first time in a while.  But I know that if I had used inerasable markers from the beginning, this drawing would have been done by now, and I would feel satisfied.  It may have some imperfections to fix in Photoshop, but it would have been good enough, done, and I wouldn't be feeling so stuck.  ...Maybe I should return to my freer drawings with pen?  o.o?

 

...As long as I can get to drawing that Masa-dragon/Yuki-tiger fan-comic.  ^__^ 

lengthy unfinished art & last minute substitutes

http://fav.me/d63kas6

 

Today's daily upload at DeviantArt is an old photo I did at WonderCon2013.  I just didn't have time to draw today.  Aside from the fact that I was working on my professional art portfolio for most of the time, I'm in the middle of a drawing that I can't quite finish right now.

 

 

I was glad that I finally started using the source photos/books I had been gathering all this time, since I draw better with a source to sketch from.  But I just got stumped on who to draw on the right side of this Sengoku Basara fan-art.  Should it be Takeda-tiger or Sasuke-fox?  I just know that I wanted adults to watch over the little Masa-hatchling and Yuki-cub play-fighting.  I even posted this work in progress on Tumblr and Google+, asking for help and input.  But no one's really been answering.  So when I think on my own about who to draw along with Kojuuro-dragon, it might be best to draw Takeda-tiger.  I mean, an adult Kojuuro-dragon gives a good contrast to hatchling dragon Masamune.  When there's an adult right beside the youngster, it emphasizes that the creature is still young.  Researching realistic, developmental proportions may only go so far, especially if someone has never before seen how a baby alligator's snout is shorter and stout, compared to an adult crocodilian, or how a baby tiger body structures are different from an adult's.  So, it stands to reason that an adult tiger's contrast to a baby tiger, would best serve to emphasize that Yukimura is still a cub.  ...Even though, in the Sengoku Basara series, it seems that Sasuke spends more time directly watching over Yukimura.  Regardless, tomorrow, I think I'll draw Takeda-tiger. 



new sketchbook decision

 

Yesterday, I used the last page of my previous sketchbook, so today, I have an interesting decision to make.  Usually, it's a no-brainer for me to go straight for the next spiral sketchbook in my box.  I mean, they're the ones that can lay the most flat in a scanner; hardcover sketchbooks can't.  (Granted the spiral itself still prevents the page from completely meeting the scanner bed, but they're still better than hardcover sketchbooks, for the most part.) 

 But I've always liked the tactile feel of hardcover sketchbooks.  Maybe they remind me of books, and when I took comfort in being a bookworm.  Also, that lack of spiral binding, makes them so easy to slip into packed purses.  And lately, I've been so envious of art journals.  So today, on a whim, I tried out my little, hardcover sketchbook on the scanner. 

Even without weights on the scanner lid!  *o*

 

 These Artist's Loft hardcover sketchbooks lay flat!  *O*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Usually I push and push books or more expensive hardcover sketchbooks onto a scanner, with the weight of 4+ heavy books on top of the closed scanner lid, and the shadow gutter is still too horrible to work with.  But this cheap little Artist's Loft sketchbook laid flat, even in the mid-point of the book!  AND, with just the weight of the scanner lid (sometimes plus the gentle weight of my fingers).  This is unbelievable.  When I think of all time that I've longingly passed by hardcover sketchbooks, while running away from their high prices, this $5, sufficiently-made Artist's Loft book just gets more awesome. 

 I don't need any leather or stylish-fabric covers.  No specially treated page edges are necessary for me.  All I really wanted from a bound sketchbook was that sturdy cover and clean paper...preferably around 60lbs.  I don't even care that much about tooth.  So, paying minimums of $25 for tiny leather-bound sketchbooks, with thicker paper weights, that just kicked out the number of pages that could have fit into the book...was just disappointing for me.  Not to mention, that when my art materials are too nice or expensive, I tend to be too afraid to use them.  But this---this $5 little book!  Cheaper than my spiral sketchbooks!  *o* ---I could totally feel free to slap stickers/paint on the cover and draw inside, any little thing that comes to my head.  In short, I could use it like a real sketchbook. 

 Now that I've discovered these Artist's Loft hardcover sketchbooks are just $5, do more than I thought was possible for hardcovers, and are plentiful at the local stores I frequent (Michaels craft stores), I think I'm going to try sticking with them.

 So, let's experiment.  Instead of moving onto my next spiral sketchbook, and leaving my mini sketchbook for travelling, I'm going to move onto my little hardcover sketchbook and save my large spiral sketchbook, for whenever I want to draw really big.  Professional illustrators say that it's best to draw on big canvases, because their reprints/scans will hide little imperfections when shrunk to format.  But let's face it:  I draw small; and when I don't, it's a pain to fit an entire sketchbook page onto a scanner.  Just yesterday, while going through the usual motions of splicing together 2 half-scans of a page-large drawing, the lighting still somehow ended up different for each scan, showing a distinct difference between the 2 spliced scans.  ~_~;  It'd be so nice to use a slightly smaller sketchbook, and scan drawings all in one shot.  And the best part is that since this Artist's Loft hardcover can open up and lay flat completely, I could span a drawing across 2 pages, whenever I want to draw larger.  That lack of gutter shadow reeeeeeeeally helps.  *u*  So, I've decided.  Let's try this.  I'm excited!  ^u^  

last page of sketchbook 11

So glad that this time---THIS TIME!  The last page in my sketchbook was not a bunch of horrible nonsense.  I often get the feeling that when the last page of my sketchbook is full of horribly done doodles, then it reflects a complete lack of learning, after all the experience of filling the entire sketchbook.  ;_;  But this time!  This time, I had DJ(radiojamming)'s DateSana fanfic to inspire me to envision Sanada Yukimura's smile.  *______*  A smile so uplifting that the image and feelings just poured onto my last page, and made it awesomeness.  ^-^ 

much needed refreshing smile

Yesterday night, I pulled an all-nighter, trying to catch a sale at Vistaprint, only to later realize that I had incorrectly designed one of the business cards I had ordered.  ~__________~;  So much for saving some money by getting 2 types of cards in 1 shipping order.  Ug.  That's gonna haunt me for a while...

So I was very happy to find a very nice DateSana fanfic on Tumblr.  "Convenience Store part 2" by DJ.  http://radiojamming.tumblr.com/post/47681077306/datesana-convenience-store-part-two
The story included one moment where Yukimura's smile was just very uplifting.  I found myself suddenly drawing, even before I had finished reading the fic.  ^^;

http://fav.me/d63b3j1

 

It felt very nice to doodle in pencil again.  And even better to not bother with the strain of inking my outlines.  I just went straight in with markers.  Even some of the lines that couldn't be defined by pencil alone, I just used the very tips of my Copic Sketch and my Tombow marker.  I'll say it again:  It's so relaxing to not ink my lines.  ^__^

 So I think I really like these ultra faint Copic markers with 4 zeros behind the letter.  Once the ink started to dry in the areas I had colored with E0000, it wasn't invisible, but instead, ever so subtle and faint, that any brushstrokes were nominal.  It created that nice "floating" effect I wanted.  The form wasn't made concrete by the coloring---which is something I would have had to be wary of, with darker colors.  I was afraid E0000 would be unnoticeable because it is the lightest Ecru, but it's perfect.  I really have my eye on set Ex-4 now.  Not just as a blender for darker shades, but also for safely blocking down my color decisions.  That's it.  At the next convention, if I can get set EX-4 for $60 or less ($5 per marker, 12 markers), then I'm getting it!  >u<

late night Raven doodling

Day 2 of staying off my computer for all most the entire day. 
Getting lots of stuff done in the physical world, but I miss the online world so much, that I keep staying up past 1am.  x_x;;;
Well, it will all be worth it when I can finish cleaning my room, rearrange/reorganize, create a crafting workspace for myself, then make more stock again for artist alley.  *.*!  That's the big goal. 

In the meantime, here's some stuff I doodled just now:

I just watched Teen Titans Go for the first time, and I love this chibi version of Raven. 

I still need to practice, but I think I've figured out which markers to use.  Though, my ShinHanArt Touch seems to have a different color, compared to the hue I had previously marked with it, on my color chart.  I wonder if Copics are free from this problem.  But then, I recall that I bought at least 3 Copics last month, with hues that were not quite the same as the color charts.  The clerk asked that I reference the chart, instead of using up the markers' ink, but I really regretted not testing out each marker myself before buying.  ;_;  ...But then, I watched some blending tutorial vids on Copic's YouTube, and now I have a use for those colors that weren't quite what I thought and/or turned out to be too similar to colors I already had. 

I wonder if the color seems so different because of paper differences?  I have a little more faith in Copics, so I'm willing to give weight to that theory.  But my ShinHan Art Touch was so drastically different from my previous swatch, that I wonder if the ink just oversaturated the nib at one end more than the other.  ;_;? 

doodling when I should be sleeping ^^;

 

please wake up and play by ~mysticdragon3 on deviantART

 

 

Do I really need to categorize this as fan-art or list the Sengoku Basara credits?  It's so bad, you can't really tell that dragon is supposed to be Date Masamune or that the tiger is supposed to be Sanada Yukimura.  ~_~;;;  Damn.  It's depressing how much I need practice...

 

And that's what this is!  ^o^  I needed to practice blending Copic markers on an actual drawing, so I just doodled this up really fast. 

 

I also needed to practice tigers more.  I don't know why I keep forgetting how to draw feline legs, after all the videos, research, and drawing cats that I've been doing for a while now.  Well, actually, the time when I drew cats almost everyday, was like a year ago.  Now, the only remnant of my Nekotalia fan-art days, is continuing to watch cat videos on YouTube, almost everyday.  Though lately, those cat vids have turned into more of tiger vids... 

 

In either case, I think I have a problem remembering how to draw something, anytime I take even a little break from it.  ;_;  Which is really weird for me, because I'm so used to having such good muscle memory.  Well, I guess it doesn't apply to my drawing skills.  Sulk. 

 

So much sulking!  I need to go to sleep!

Happy Earth Day!

By pure chance, I happened across something online that said today is Earth Day.  ^_^

 

http://mysticdragon3.deviantart.com/art/cat-toy-367318490

 

Today I finally started following a USUK blog on Tumblr.  Naturally, I gravitated towards the Americat/Iggycat posts.  ^_^  Totally rekindled my need to draw Nekotalia fan-art. 
Especially this avatar icon from Iggycat: 

Hilarious!  ^O^  I went right over to YouTube and searched for videos of cats wearing glasses. 

 

Like this one:

 

And this one:



Iggy-mochi and the teddy bear

Today, I finally fused all 7 panels of my figurine photoshoot, into 1 comic strip file.  Quite some time ago, I uploaded the individual panels to DeviantArt, without the dialogue bubbles or sound effects, taken from Himaruya Hidekazu's original Hetalia webcomic.  Then, last month, I finally Photoshopped in the extras.  Now, it's complete.  ^_^

 

The original Hetalia webcomic that this photoshoot was based on, can be found at:
http://usxuk.livejournal.com/1442114.html#cutid1

And here's my unaltered photoshoot posted to DeviantArt:
panel 1:  http://mysticdragon3.deviantart.com/art/England-mochi-and-teddy-1-257028061
panel 2:  http://mysticdragon3.deviantart.com/art/England-mochi-and-teddy-2-257029767
panel 3:  http://mysticdragon3.deviantart.com/art/England-mochi-and-teddy-3-257030425
panel 4:  http://mysticdragon3.deviantart.com/art/England-mochi-and-teddy-4-257030764
panel 5:  http://mysticdragon3.deviantart.com/art/England-mochi-and-teddy-5-257031448
panel 6:  http://mysticdragon3.deviantart.com/art/England-mochi-and-teddy-6-257031988

sword shelf rearrangement

Did some cleaning today, so had to rearrange this area.  Just barely fit Dante and Vergil figurines into that display case.  -.-;

love my otaku room

I just finished a post at my geek blog about how I recently rearranged my figurine collection:
http://timidotaku.blogspot.com/2013/04/figurine-nook-update.html
That type of thing always gets me staring contentedly at my room.  ^_______^  It always makes me feel so at-home, safe, and happy. 

So often, people try to get me to "minimize" my room or make it not look like a toy store, just because that's the current fashion trend in interior decorating.  But I swear, if that ever happened to me, I could never feel at-home in my own bedroom.  It would be a foreign place, where I could never relax.  As much as I loved the show Surprise by Design, I used to have nightmares that it would happen to me, and my room would be done over in pink, girly hearts and orangey disco tones.  Ug! 
Isn't a comfortable feeling the whole point of interior design?  Anyway, I usually combat such trendy complaints with the argument that the only place I've ever personally felt comfort and belonging are in libraries and being surrounded by anime/manga.  Without that, I could never feel my room was a sanctuary.  That always gets the interior design buffs, because they're all about "sanctuary spaces".  ^_~

Natsume figurine photos

https://plus.google.com/u/0/communities/109616788942146636883
I was checking in at the Natsume Yuujinchou / Mushishi club on Google+, right after visiting the Figure Photography, when I realized that I hadn't shared any Natsume figurine photos with the Natsume club yet.  So I shared my old photos with them:

This last photo is the display case in my room, where I keep all my Natsume's Book of Friends collectibles. 

sparkley flying mint bunny wand

Even though this prop is for my sister's cosplay, and I haven't heard from her, about her preference to add or not add glitter sparkles to this magic wand, I went ahead and added it anyway.  I asked my group on Facebook for their input, and they said I should add the sparkles.  Just as well.  That was my original design plan, before I actually put the wand pieces together and thought that maybe it was already too busy.  But the sparkles turned out to be clear, subtle, and nice.  ^_^ 

art journal layouts

Wandering around on Tumblr today, I got the impulse to make an art journal blog there too.  http://md3artjournal.tumblr.com/  Maybe as just a mirror to this blog, or maybe it will become something else.  I don't know.  Anyway, that set me on a path to a lot of Photoshop today.  Making banners and background graphics out of old, free-association doodles that turned out to look so incredibly appropriate for an art journal theme.

I thought I'd use the same graphics at this blog, but I ended up making a whole other banner and using Blogger's background instead.  Though the banner does use one of the same drawings and the same quote as my Tumblr blog. 

But I put the quote directly onto the graphic, so I don't have to mess around too much with Blogger's layout.  After all, I've messed around enough on Photoshop today.  ^_^;;;

version 1

version 2

version 3

Too many rough drafts in my process!  @~@

star wands

This week, I've been making some magic wands as cosplay props for my sister.  But I couldn't decide on one design, so I made 3 for her to choose from.  Craft foam, wooden dowels, crystal glitter sparkles, and ribbon.  It's based on Britannia Angel's magic wand (from Hetalia), but since it's for a Flying Mint Bunny cosplay, I thought I'd try a green wand and some flying bunny motifs. 

I'm wondering if I should glue some sparkles to the winged wand too.  That was my original plan, but after putting all those shapes together, I was afraid the wand already looked busy.  But the glitter is fun...  Should I add it?

Do big cats like boxes too?

BIG CATS like boxes too!

http://youtu.be/J11uu8L8FTY

This is so adorable and hilarious!  ^u^  Big cats acting like little kitties is just too funny!  I loved watching them investigate, jump in and out, and just settle in the boxes, just like house cats.  Though, the lions, tigers, and such, did seem to act a bit like pika cats...  ^.~

Oh, yeah...  This is an art journal.  So here's a quick drawing. 

 



Here are the markers I used for this drawing:

lineart - Tombow N15

box - Copic E55
         Prismacolor Premier Sienna Brown
         Prismacolor Premier Brick Beige

tiger - Copic Y38
          Copic E50
          Copic YR04

brother's blog

Taking a stroll over to my brother's blog. 
http://myfilipinofoodjourney.blogspot.com/

I remember when I surprised him by making this banner for his blog, out of photos he had posted there. I asked him what color he wanted the font and backgrounds.  "Tachikoma blue."  ^u^  Never before had I heard a color described in otaku reference terms before.  ^v^  That should happen more often.

He's a culinary professional, so his posts are all about the food he's made.  But it's also a trip down memory lane for my family.  He blogs about what he's cooked for us at holidays and get-togethers.  And sometimes, he posts extra photos about his hobbies. 

---Hey!  I should tell him to make a figurine photography blog!  *O*  That would kick @$$!  He does so much figurine photography, that we're both part of  the Figure Photography group at Google+  https://plus.google.com/u/0/communities/102424536798369424860

Anyway...

I like my brother's blog.  It feels like we're still hanging out and sharing out lives, even though we hardly see each other in person anymore.  ;u;

marker bag upgrade

Copic Markers Facebook: How do you store your Copics?
Yesterday, I saw this quick post on Copic Markers' Facebook page, and I ended up spending the entire day, just answering this question.  (A bad habit of mine.)

I took photos of the custom bag I had made for my artist illustration markers (Copics, Prismacolor Premier, ShinHan Art Touch, Tombow, etc.).  I reorganized my markers.  Took more photos.  Then made whole new, extra panels to sew onto the bag once again.  As you can see below, I went through a long process yesterday.

But, in the end, I have a nicely organized set of multiple brand markers and more capacity added to my bag.  ^_^

inspiration

art journal playlist from cree82dae
I was watching this YouTube playlist of art journals and techniques, when it occurred to me that some of the websites I am on, are more my art journals than my sketchbooks. 

I've tried to create art journals and scrapbooks before, but I keep returning to digital more often:  webpages, blogs, even personal, HTML files, all in my continuing attempt to fuse my written journals and artist sketchbooks.  I've always envied those messy, experimental, mixed media art journals.  But I've recently come to accept the fact that I'm more inclined to art/crafts that require less clean-up and less set-up.  Digital is the best for that.  Even now, my bedroom floor is strewn with craft supplies that I'm too tired to clean up---And all I did was glue some sparkles on a magic wand!

Even if a physical art journal hasn't been working for me, then why make this blog?  Why not continue with my Deviant Art, my Tumblr, my Google+, and my Facebook posts?  Because they're not consolidated.  One website is for one thing, another, for another thing.  Each site has a specific audience and subject matter that I focus on.  But a real art journal should be able to be about anything and everything.  At least, I won't feel like something is my art journal until it can contain anything. 

So here goes.  ^_^  My gloriously messy, mixed "media", experimental adventure.